There is an article on Wikipedia detailing the ongoing and often acrimonious debate about how a person chooses to install a new roll of toilet paper.

There are two choices of toilet paper orientation when using a toilet roll holder with a horizontal axle parallel to the wall: the toilet paper may hang over or under the roll. The choice is largely a matter of personal preference, dictated by habit. In surveys of American consumers and of bath and kitchen specialists, 60–70% of respondents prefer over.

Despite being a trivial topic, people often hold strong opinions on the matter. Advice columnist Ann Landers said that the subject was the most controversial issue in her column’s history. Defenders of either position cite advantages ranging from aesthetics, hospitality, and cleanliness; to paper conservation and the ease of detaching individual squares. Celebrities and experts are found on both sides. The reasons behind each person’s choice have been analysed by several studies with theories ranging from age, gender, socioeconomic status to political philosophy. It has also been suggested that preference for “under” may correlate with ownership of a recreational vehicle or a cat.

Here’s the whole article for those who are interested:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet_paper_orientation

As always Requiem of Randomness is happy to provide important public service announcements.

Discuss.

Before seeing this video, if you would have asked me if fat people or skinny people made better thieves, I would have surely said skinny. Given that these 2 got caught that might still be true, but you have to be impressed by their ingenuity. It’s not many women that can hide a pair of boots in their breast and belly fat. Watch the cop try to keep a straight face as he describes the crime.

Thanks to L0rdarkness for the tip!

Requiem of Randomness has received its first post from a guest author. I can’t say the subject matter is surprising, but this did come up in conversation from a series of totally random events. I guess that’s 2 ways it fits . . .

So I am inventing a device that helps avoid people calling you while
you’re taking a shit. It attaches to your toilet seat and whenever you
sit down it will notify everyone on your social networks that you’re on
the can. With the upgraded model you can even send text messages to
everyone in your phone book about when you get on and again when you’re
done doing your business. The device will need to know if it is you and
not someone else on the can (say the plumber taking a break between
unclogging your kitchen sink for whatever reason that was clogged), so
the device will have a needle that will poke your ass when you sit and
check your DNA.

Down the road I plan to add a portable version for the office so you can
notify any co-workers on the company intranet.

Do we have a winner here? Can you see this on the home shopping network?

There is an inequity with regards to what is socially acceptable in terms of how we relate to where, when and by whom tongues touch our bodies. We tend to have no problem if any random animal (though we usually prefer cats and dogs) licks us on our hand or other ares of exposed skin as long as that body part is one an individual would typically brandish in public, and it’s not the mouth.

On the other hand, we find it odd for people to lick us on the hands or other random body parts but putting your tongue in a person’s mouth is completely normal, some people being more discriminate than others. Yet the idea of sticking your tongue in an animal’s mouth is completely not socially acceptable even though it’s pretty common knowledge that animal’s mouths are cleaner than ours.

I don’t have a proper ending for this post, so I’ll just leave this video as a warning to the inebriated:

Discuss.

1. People who are born with the instinctive knowledge not to pee into the wind.
2. People who might have peed into the wind, but were advised against it and listened to that advice.
3. And people with pee on them.

When I walk into many stores these days there’s someone at the door that says hi to me. After getting over that intrusion, I sometimes actually make a purchase. On those occasions, as I make my way to the exit, there’s often a man or woman in a blazer who blocks my path with a . . . pen. These agents of security will mercilessly scribble a circle on my receipt after not checking the contents of my bag. there’s often a line to leave the store because of these people. Are you shitting me? After I wait in line to talk to a sales rep who doesn’t know anything about what he’s selling, wait in line to pay, I have to wait in line to leave the store? What the hell is going on???

Is the unemployment situation in this country so bad that we pay people to stand around in stores and not do anything? I don’t want a random stranger saying hi to me in a store anymore than I want that in the street, or during a boating accident.

And seriously, where did u fuck up in life if you’re the pen guy at the exit of Home Depot? What do you tell people you do for a living? What’s that job interview like?

“Did you complete the second grade?”

“Uh, yes sir.”

“So you can draw a circle then?”

“Um, sure?”

“You’re hired!”

Well done.

Would you like some Jew in your poo?

Discuss.

Think about it, here’s are a couple of examples.

Oh monkey monkey
I shouldn’t have let you go
And now you’re out of sight, yeah
Show me, how you want it to be
Tell me monkey
‘Cause I need to know now what we’ve got
My loneliness is killing me
I must confess, I still believe
When I’m not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me monkey one more time

_________________________________
There’s a reason why
you can look up every night
and every star in heaven’s in it’s place
There’s a reason why
the full moon pulls the tide
and the waves roll into a shore that always waits
And just like them
monkey you belong
monkey you belong
Nothin’s ever been so meant to be
or ever felt so right to me
Every single part of me believes
monkey you belong
oh monkey you belong
There really is no mystery
i think anyone can see
That monkey you belong
with me