What is an asshole?

With the understanding that on this site this can be seen as a loaded question, I want to reassure both my readers that my meaning here is not at all figurative or or insinuative, but rather quite literal.

Is an asshole an actual physical thing, or the space occurring in the context of a particular location? Can an asshole be captured and displayed out of context or is it irrevocably bound to the modality in which it takes place? Is it like a tidal wave? It can be seen as a whole (heh) but to try to capture it in a bucket and show someone elsewhere and it would be received as a meaningless bucket of water.

Getting down to brass tacks, is an asshole a ring of skin and muscle, or simply the space inside of that ring? If it’s just the ring itself that could be hypothetically be removed and displayed in a museum as a piece of modern art, be used as a drinking straw as a tactic to get suspected terrorists to reveal their secrets, or be used to hold a roll of quarters when you run out of those paper thingies from the bank.

However if it’s just the space inside the ring it becomes a different thing altogether, in fact it’s not even a thing at all. It’s an idea. An intangible that only takes place in exactly the correct circumstances even if those circumstances are not particularly rare, valuable or pleasant. It is a delicate thing, one that can disappear in a puff of, well let’s not go there.

Do you have it clear in your head what you mean when you call someone an asshole, or suggest they suffer from assaholism? If you don’t then have a care, you may be talking out of your ass whilst talking about ass, and I for one simply won’t stand for that.

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One Comment on “What is an asshole?”

  • 14 October, 2011,

    A person just above an idiot who knows better but can’t help himself. A scumbag is a person that acts like an asshole but is doing it out of pure malice.

    An idiot of course is a moron with delusions of hope.

    You ask hard questions dude.

    Where is that Philohopeless guy, I though he’s be all over this one.

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