People who stand around while you go shopping.

When I walk into many stores these days there’s someone at the door that says hi to me. After getting over that intrusion, I sometimes actually make a purchase. On those occasions, as I make my way to the exit, there’s often a man or woman in a blazer who blocks my path with a . . . pen. These agents of security will mercilessly scribble a circle on my receipt after not checking the contents of my bag. there’s often a line to leave the store because of these people. Are you shitting me? After I wait in line to talk to a sales rep who doesn’t know anything about what he’s selling, wait in line to pay, I have to wait in line to leave the store? What the hell is going on???

Is the unemployment situation in this country so bad that we pay people to stand around in stores and not do anything? I don’t want a random stranger saying hi to me in a store anymore than I want that in the street, or during a boating accident.

And seriously, where did u fuck up in life if you’re the pen guy at the exit of Home Depot? What do you tell people you do for a living? What’s that job interview like?

“Did you complete the second grade?”

“Uh, yes sir.”

“So you can draw a circle then?”

“Um, sure?”

“You’re hired!”

Well done.

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3 Comments on “People who stand around while you go shopping.”

  • reli4nt
    26 October, 2010,

    They’re just doing their part to make sure robots can take over the world.

  • philostophalies
    16 May, 2011,

    maybe thats true, about the robots one day taking over but really can a robot ever full grasp the complexities of making a circle. and what about all the adjustments needed to be made. sometimes its not just a circle but more of an oval. 98% of the time its not even a full circle, yet an opened circle. how can a robot ever know to do that. way too many variables to plug in. i tell ya it cant be done. youd go through yrs of ruined receipts which will no longer enable you to return your items because instead of having the proper circle identification on it, it has instead triangles, or hexagons, or whatever crazy shape that robot comes up with.

    do we want that?

    do we want people out of work?

    do we want to say made with pride in the USA?

  • Stiffie
    27 May, 2011,

    If they would employ some of thse standing around people to shoo the people out of the doorway, that would be spiffy. You know, the people who stand in the doorway examining their reciept with an electron microscope, making sure that the Princess of Darkness behind the register didn’t screw them out of the $0.09 that they should have saved on a 10 lb sack of potatos. I sometimes think I’ll bring a sock full of pennies to beat them with, but I always forget the sock.

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