There are times in life where people must come to terms with certain harsh truths. We all have pictures of ourselves that depart from the actual reality of who we are, and if we had the courage to ask our loved ones, and more importantly LISTEN to what they had to say, perhaps our estimations of ourselves would be more accurate. Who knows, perhaps it could lead to an increase in overall self esteem.

This being the 40th post of this site, without actually doing the math (way too much work) I have to admit that at least 35% of the posts on this site have been about poo or ass. My reasons for waxing philosophical at this point will become clear in the following paragraph.

I took a dump today I was so proud of I was sad to flush it down. It came out in stages, like a shuttle going into space and dropping off the heavier, used booster rockets to enable increased thrust at the later stages. As I dismounted I felt like it looked back at me and said in a British accent, “Well done, bucko.”

All relationships must come to an end at some point, and this one was one of the more short lived, for obvious reasons. As I depressed the handle and bid the ol chap farewell, it took the first flush like a veteran boxer getting punched in the jaw by a 5 year old girl. At this point the surly turd’s voice in my mind took on a profoundly different tone, “WHAT NIGGA, THAT ALL U GOT?”

It wasn’t all I had. In the end, it took another 3 flushes to defeat the beast, and while there can be some sadness at losing a potential friend so soon, the circle of life must go on.  A turd is a turd, and it’s rightful place is down the drain, or being spoken about on this site.