I was shocked and amazed to realize that I really do love New York. Like love it for real, like a person might love a pet or a really good hamburger. I mean it’s a bit odd to realize you actually have the emotion to back up a tagline.

Coke (the soda, never tried the powder) never put a smile on me, although I’ve had it with plenty of hamburgers.

McDonalds never made me smile either, made me a bit queasy though.

I’ve never been in good hands with Allstate.

I never saved 15% on my car insurance with Geico.

What’s KFC’s slogan? Whatever it is my penis didn’t get any bigger, and that’s always a disappointment when I eat chicken.

But goddamn I actually love New York, who woulda thought?