Requiem of Randomness has received its first post from a guest author. I can’t say the subject matter is surprising, but this did come up in conversation from a series of totally random events. I guess that’s 2 ways it fits . . .

So I am inventing a device that helps avoid people calling you while
you’re taking a shit. It attaches to your toilet seat and whenever you
sit down it will notify everyone on your social networks that you’re on
the can. With the upgraded model you can even send text messages to
everyone in your phone book about when you get on and again when you’re
done doing your business. The device will need to know if it is you and
not someone else on the can (say the plumber taking a break between
unclogging your kitchen sink for whatever reason that was clogged), so
the device will have a needle that will poke your ass when you sit and
check your DNA.

Down the road I plan to add a portable version for the office so you can
notify any co-workers on the company intranet.

Do we have a winner here? Can you see this on the home shopping network?