Given the fact that the human body is covered by about 20 square feet of skin, and the scrotal sack is about a 6 inch square, there is a 1.73% chance that any given itch on your body will be on a man’s balls. If you take into account the conditions under which the testicles are expected to live, you can effectively double that figure. So with a 3.46 % chance of any itch occurring on the balls, that basically means that just over 3 out of 100 itches on any man’s body are testicular, so why is this a problem for some people?

Dropping some knowledge from How Stuff Works:

Itching, also known as pruritus, starts with some kind of external stimuli, including bugs, dust, clothing fibers and hair. Like tickling, itching is a built-in defense mechanism that alerts your body to the potential of being harmed. In this case, it might be the potential of being bit by a bug.

When the stimuli lands on your skin, it may not bother you at first, but soon it will begin to rub back and forth across your skin. Once the hair or dust scratches your skin’s surface layer, receptors in the dermis of the skin will become irritated. In a split second, these receptors send a signal through fibers in the skin to your spinal cord and then up to the cerebral cortex in your brain.

Why is it ok for women to breastfeed in public but it inappropriate for a man to scratch? And speaking of breasts how is it that women avoid scratching their breasts all the time? A bra has to be more itch inducing than a man’s underwear, even if he’s wearing tighty whiteys, but I never see women indulging in a nice, nipple hardening titty scratch. Do a woman’s breast itches get arrested in her nervous system and go to some unknown place like her farts? If we’re all human and have the same systems why are men known for scratching and farting, and women not? Do women relieve these impulses by complaining about unrelated things? If a woman is yelling at her husband for taking the wrong turn on the way to the airport, does that make her tittys stop itching? Is the reason women go to the bathroom together is so they can scratch each others backs where the bra is irritating them?

I think as men we may never know the answers to these questions, so we will have to deal with women’s disapproving looks when we go for the itchy teabag until some genius invents auto scratching underwear.

FIOS is awesome by the way.