requiemofrandomness.com » shorts

What do you get if you cut off 2 of an octopus’s tentacles?

leor — Wed, 02 Nov 2016 02:46:54 +0000

A sexapus.

A Cliff Claven-ism (R rated)

leor — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 03:46:34 +0000

It’s a little known fact that the term “whore” is derived from, ah, their relative working orientation. You see, “whore,” is in fact short for the “hor” in horizontal, it was only the colloquistic anachronisms of the time that impelled people to add the superfluous “w” and “e” to either end of the expression to prevent it from either being a 3 or a the, ah, dreaded 4 letter word.

Discuss, kimosabes.

Happiness is having a toilet that never says “I’m sorry.”

leor — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 17:18:24 +0000

Discuss.

I’ve never killed a chicken

leor — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 23:29:58 +0000

But how many of them have died in the name of my dinner?

Never make decisions when you’re emotional

leor — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 05:09:46 +0000

Suicide is never as good of an idea as it seems the next day. This also applies to peeing on stuff.

There’s no such thing as instant testicles.

leor — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 04:17:30 +0000

Discuss.

You can use a napkin as a plate, but you can’t use a plate as a napkin.

leor — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 19:06:32 +0000

Discuss.

If you put cough drops up your ass, does that make you fart less?

leor — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 03:01:05 +0000

Discuss.

Ira Rosenberg proposes anal sex to his girlfriend:

leor — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 17:38:01 +0000

Would you like some Jew in your poo?

Discuss.

You can’t spell Gayness without ayness.

leor — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 22:49:51 +0000

Sound it out, then discuss.