All animals have assholes, but not all animals have asses.
Everyone poos, but not everyone has a nice, round one.
The ass is a pretty unique, amazing thing, and this is underscored by the fact that not all animals are not lucky enough to have one. People have asses, baboons might have one of the most obvious asses on the planet, but a dog, for example does not. The vast majority of 4 legged animals have sort of a hind quarter, if you’re petting a dog or cat your hand will go from their back to their tail, but there really is no transition zone from their back to their hind legs, no tushy to speak of.
This is sometimes a problem for me because the ass functions as a nice buffer, a mass of protective tissue separating the asshole from the rest of the world. There have been times when I have been petting one of my cats and they change position and I accidentally poke into something that has entirely the wrong texture. It is infrequent enough that I still have to mentally pause to figure out what happened, but the reflexive system that keeps me safe, the same one that would draw my hand out of an open flame leaps into action and draws my hand back with extreme alacrity saving me extended inappropriate asshole touching time. In these cases I take a deep breath to steady myself, and always feel the need to check in with the cat to make sure no offense was taken and everything is still cool between us. Fortunately for our relationship, they have thus far remained unfazed.
This 4 legged rule tends to fall apart when you get into larger creatures such as horses and elephants, and it makes me wonder whether there’s a correlation between having an ass and the ability to lick your own asshole. If you stop and think about it, most of the animals who have asses cannot actually perform auto-anilingus ( I know there are some contortionists who can do it, but I doubt they have a badonkadonk, and shame on them for licking their own butts anyway), suggesting some form of convergant evolution might be at work.
It’s definitely something to think about, and also a good way to start off a whole new website, I think.
5 Comments on “All animals have assholes, but not all animals have asses.”
If they can breed a cat with stubby legs or a shivering chihuahua from a wolf, they can breed one with some junk in the trunk but that couldn’t possibly lead to anything healthy. Let’s focus first on giving Barbie an ass so girls can grow up with healthier expectations. Any animal that licks its hole in public isn’t troubled by self esteem.
what are the other ways to skin a cat i keep doing it the same old boring way, im tired of urine
an ass is not the condition of employment we are after here. yet it is the contract with asshole that we sought after. the crooked creakiness of the asshole. what better to serve it up with some buttered crumpets of joy and lemon curd? my my i think we may see the point of this ponderous question here. why ask why if you know the why isn’t?
Either unique or not, you can’t put a qualifier like “pretty” unique. BTW – I am an asshole.
heh, read a few more posts, correcting all my crap can keep u busy for a while.